Today is Fathers Day. The boys and I made brunch with fresh eggs, sausage, big fat butter biscuits and big glass of ice tea. Wonderful to serve up a tasty breakfast in bed for the big man. Husband enjoyed it and the kids, jumping on the bed, wanted to know what he wanted to do for his special day. Swim maybe? How about video games? Movie? I think all he really wanted to do was eat in peace, watch golf, and sip his cold ice tea. Being the fantastic dad he is, of course he managed to get around and go outside with is sons and play a bit. A few hours later he's back inside watching his golf. Kids were happy, I'm busy, and Father's day has begun. I miss my own Dad today, even though he's alive and well, I still want to hug him and kiss him and tell him what a pretty great Dad he is. Now when I get to see him, I really try and spend good quality time with him. We walk and talk, sometimes about important things, sometimes about the weather. It doesn't matter.
I love holding his hand. It reminds me of being a little girl and looking at his hands then too. They were big and one finger looked nubby on the end. Still does. They still look the same to me. It's the only thing that hasn't changed on him. He always rolls up his sleeves on his shirt, like the picture here. I find myself rolling up my sleeves too when I wear T-shirts. His hair in this picture is longer and less gray. These day's it's growing back because of his chemo he is undergoing. It's sometimes difficult to know that the man you love most of all may not be around forever. I know this to be true because I think about it often.
It's a treat to see the happy faces of his family. His many grandkids love spending time together, and all aunts and uncles, cousins, and those that he says are kin to us, enjoy the fellowship of spending as much time together as we can. We fuss and get loud, argue about politics and religion, and dad is smiling cause he's enjoying every ounce of it. I don't know what it feels like to be a dad. I'm a mom, a daughter, a sister, and I can only put myself in those shoes. I imagine it is kind of the same.
I would like my Dad to live forever, although I know that is just a little girls dream. I'll take what I can get. I made a promise to myself I won't worry too much about the future. Right now is what's important. Living in this moment.
So, today I celebrate my own husband too. He has lost sleep from worry, coached two baseball teams this year, played in a band, taken his family camping and on a trip to Las Vegas. Scooped poop, mowed the yard, taken care of his own elderly parents, sweated, cried, fretted, jumped for joy, relaxed, laughed with friends, and all of this and he still managed to be a terrific dad. Just like I thought I was a lucky little girl, I know my boys may not know it yet, but one day they will know just how lucky they are to have a great Dad.....
